The WolfieToon Multiple Crumple Guarantee

The WolfieToon Multiple Crumple Guarantee states, "If this cartoon sucks, at least I killed as many trees as possible trying."

Although lately, being made more sensitive by people who have a gentler, more loving relationship with paper, who fold it into marvelous configurations, I have been doing more erasing and lighter under-drawing, so that more paper lives out its natural life.

But I confess that a harsh, cracking crumple is viscerally satisfying.  Extremely.

I ran across the following items on a disk that show that things don't always go the way you want at first, but perseverance pays. Here is the first attempt at the Halloween WolfieToon with Boris and Elsa:

Not quite what I wanted, so I went back to the drawing board.  

I got that far, thinking I was doing better, but after coming back with a fresh cup of coffee, I decided it was actually worse.  Soooo... more work, and I finally got to this:

The end result you've seen..

The lesson here, Kids, is:  Be patient and gentle, but firm;  you can always spank something into shape.  Wink wink. 

Holy Frijoles!

Check out this shot from Dreamworks' '"Puss In Boots" with Kitty Softpaws OTK!

She was a Bad Kitty!!

No, no, don't get too excited, this is only a they-tumbled-down-together joke, there is no cat spanking.

(The Tabby puts his paw to his mouth and says, "OOOOH!!")

I highly recommend this flick, it's hilarious and highly entertaining!

Honey Don't!!

For this week's WolfieToon at "Discipline and Desire," I snagged the title of Carl Perkins's rockabilly hit "Honey Don't" 

Carl did great stuff!  So great, in fact, that his Sun Records "stablemate," that Presley kid, covered "Blue Suede Shoes," and later, there were four lads from Liverpool in love with American Rock 'n' Roll, and the Sun Records guys in particular, who did a fine cover of "Honey Don't,"  letting their drummer do the lead vocal!

However, I'm not sure if this gal is staying on key.

She is staying on knee.

HAR!!  

Hey, Shannon Stevens is a punster after my own heart, as you can see from the title of her story "Smoking the Bare (Only You Can Prevent Fires!)"  And you can read the first chapter by clicking on them thar blue letters!

You will also learn, from the second free "D&D" chapter this week, Great Aunt Trudy's Words To Live By in "The Eight Wisdoms" by Oona West.  And watch out for Trudy's yardstick.

Quentin Collins and the Moon

Fans of the Gothic soap "Dark Shadows" will remember that Quentin Collins was cursed with Lycanthropy-- actually, that boy had a LOT of problems, but I'm trying to keep this relatively short and interesting for the Masses-- but as you'll see, my title is just a pun.  

Step into the Wayback Machine, Sherman, and set the controls for 42 years ago, late March, 1970.  This week "Dark Shadows" begins a story in "Parallel Time."  That is a device, as writers of episodic television and comics know, by which you can do all sorts of new and shockingly dramatic things to your characters without creating story continuity problems in your established "real world."   

(Back in the 60's, DC comics loved to do stories about Superman being murdered, or being married, or having three-headed sons and such, and labeled them "Imaginary Stories."  That was a funny concept, like all the other comics stories they did were Documentaries.)

Anyway, in this alternate universe, Quentin Collins has just married Maggie Evans and carries her over the threshold of Collinwood.  What makes it of special interest to me is that David Selby is carrying Kathryn Leigh Scott (no relation to Erica) right toward the camera in her miniskirt!

TaDAA!!

Long way to go for a blurry upskirt shot, eh?

But what cute li'l panties on a lovely bottom!!

Awoooo!!

The actual scene has a slightly better (more revealing) view, but this is the only version I have right now for you.

Naturally, jaded web wanderers will say, "Meh," but I was 14 when this occurred, and Oh Em Gee.

And I noticed that this particular episode was directed by Lela Swift, and was kinda surprised that she would let this shot pass for millions of viewers to enjoy.  The other directors, who were GUYS, well, sure!

It's possible (maybe not likely, but possible) that Lela and her crew just didn't notice this.  I did, because I was and am an Obsessed Pervert.  But this li'l upskirt "accident" was maybe seven to ten seconds long, and these things happen.  In TV production, especially live, or "live-to-tape" TV, there are hundreds of details to attend to at once, which is why (to do it right) it takes a team of people.  

Now if it WAS on purpose, maybe Lela thought it would spark ratings.  Maybe she wanted to get the sponsors and network brass all hot and bothered, in more ways than one.  Maybe Kathryn's skirt stayed down in rehearsal.  Maybe Naughty Kathryn changed to a shorter skirt for the actual taping!  If that's the case, maybe someone gave her a spank after this episode aired.  (Wolfie's paw shoots up and waves around frantically to volunteer.)   

Well, whatever the reason, it now lives forever on tape and DVD and BluRay and future Holographic Brain Inserts or whatever the next format will be, and I'm grateful.

By the way, here's a recent picture of the law firm of Selby, Parker and Scott.  I mean, "Dark Shadows" cast members David Selby (Quentin Collins), Lara Parker (Angelique) and Kathryn Leigh Scott (Maggie Evans and Josette du Pres Collins). 

Selby, lucky devil, got to kiss his lovely co-stars often.  I don't recall that he ever got to spank them, at least not on camera.  Or maybe that's not the gentleman's particular thing. because he's had TWO chances to spank Erica Scott and not availed himself of the opportunity!  

I TOLD you Quentin had some problems!!  But we can fix that!  From an older WolfieToon:

  

Wolfie Birthday!

Why yes, you Lovely Imp, today IS my birthday, and I would be DELIGHTED to give you a big yummy piece of chocolate cake.  Come right over here! 

As the celebration begins--

Oops.  Oh, um... this isn't what it looks li-- 

Oh, hell, yeah, it's EXACTLY what it looks like.  So?!

Anyway, I thought I'd share some of the fun and the warmth (read into that whatever you want)!

Season and Mike just put THIS POST up at "Blossom and Thorn," and I thank you!

Lovely Lady Larken sent me this Birthday song!  Watch for the cute kitty butts!

More Added Thursday Afternoon!

Thank you all very much, I'll come back after the Family Party to answer your comments and new song lyrics!

Meanwhile, Kaki arranged THIS birthday present!

WOWEE!!  Pretty good, eh?  Makes me wish I could trade places with Major Nelson every day!

**BOINNNK!!**

Hey, look!!  Kaki has genie powers, too!!

Oh, there's the doorbell.  Well, what a delightful surprise!!  Larken brought over a few of the girls!!

Now THAT'S a party!!

More in a while!

   

    

Here On Gilligan's Isle!

From what I hear, Tina Louise actually deserved a spanking,  

Dawn Wells, now... Dawn woulda just been fun!

Here's an early Endart drawing called "Ginger's Turn!"

Or, I dunno...They all could've been into something else entirely.

SPRING BREAK SPANKER LOOSE

Picture Quiz

This woman

is:

A:  An obsessive fan of "The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis" TV show

B:  Wednesday Addams's sister

C:  Needs tue spankings a day.

For the correct answer, turn your monitor upside down.  

This will be harder to do without a laptop or handheld gizmo, in which case you will have to turn yourself upside down. 

You can also find the answer at this week's new and improved installment at "Discipline and Desire!"

Naturally, there are the titillating tales from the "D&D" authors and two free chapters to enjoy:   the intriguing start of Katrina Devlin's "Healing In Time,"  and you can fly over the rooftops as Bella Maeve begins "My Hero!"

And you youngsters who don't get my "Dobie Gillis" reference will have to go find any remaining copies of Encyclopedia Britannica, or I suppose the Interweb will do, too.  

Devlin O'Neill Birthday!

Besides ST. PATRICK'S DAY, with the wearin' of the green (and for some, pink!) we're also  celebrating the birthday of Renowned Romance Writer, Raconteur, and Really Rerrific Rerrow (oops, sorry, I slipped into Scooby-Doo-ese!) DEVLIN O'NEILL!  

You will enjoy reading, on his Blorum,  THE TRUE LEGEND OF ST. PADDLES DAY!  

It's the, er, Stuff Dreams Are Made Of!!

You could even leave a Howdy!

Leprechaunette!

There have been several Leprechauns in WolfieToons over the years, and some Fairies, but only one other Leprechaunette.  

May you see as much gorgeous pink as shamrock green this weekend!

 (Background color by Stan / E!)

ZELLE made this from an old 'toon and says this here cereal's LOTS better than "Lucky Charms!!"  She would know!!

Oh, and to heighten the celebration, there is another Wolfie Leprechaun and some Fairy Tails over at "Discipline and Desire," 

including the first chapter of Jennifer Somersby's "The Two Charleys," and Nattie Jones's "Prim and Proper!"

Quaff a tankard for me!

Wondering About The Old West Redux

As a member of the First Television Generation, I thrilled to this:

The Lone Ranger made a pretty good transition from radio to TV.  He showed up on the Big Screen in color in 1956, but I didn't see that one until I was old enough to sit up in front of the television set.

They tried to do an "updated" movie in 1981 which, to borrow a phrase from Mel Brooks, stank on ice.  Klinton Spilsbury was so bad they had to bring in another actor post-production to overdub his dialogue.  Didn't they catch any of that in the auditions?!  Not even Christopher Lloyd as the villain Butch Cavendash could save that turkey.  

So it was with mixed feelings I found out Disney was doing a new version, with Armie Hammer (not to be confused with the baking soda) as TLR and Johnny Depp as Tonto.

For those of us who grew up with Clayton Moore and Jay Silver heels 

this look at Hammer and Depp may be something of a culture shock:

I dunno, it could be pretty cool.  Or it could be a rotting disaster, like "The Green Hornet" last summer, in which they altered the characters and the set-up to try to make it a "hip" snarky joke.  We'll see in May.

I am thinking of going to see "John Carter" this week, but since I've never read any of Edgar Rice Burroughs's "John Carter Warlord of Mars" books, I'll have to ask fan (and renowned romance author) Devlin O'Neill how well the Disney Dudes translated that one!  Well, Barsooming Dev goes to see it.  

Meanwhile, I hear Disney is doing a new version of "The Mickey Mouse Club," too! 

I'll probably tune that in.

They NEED A Blisterin'

The artificial contrivance known as Daylight Savings Time begins this weekend.  I've never heard anyone cheer it, nor has anyone ever given me a good explanation for it.  But somebody's making money from it somewhere and somehow, because not only does it continue, but they've actually expanded the damned feckless thing. In fact, I think it's longer now than when I did this "Discipline and Desire" cartoon.  Or maybe it just seems longer.  But whoever is responsible...