The WolfieBlog Sing Along!!

In the spirit of Spike Jones, Stan Freberg, "MAD" magazine, and "Weird Al" Yankovic, here are some spankin' song parodies just for giggles!  

The first one Larken did for my birthday, back in March,  to the tune of Peter, Paul and Mary's "Puff the Magic Dragon!"  And here's a new cartoon to go with it!

Dave the Magic Wolfie howls at the moon,

And frolics on the Interwebs, and draws those WolfieToons.

Little spanking capers, all that kinky stuff,

Swats and stings and ouchy things, he never gets enough!

Oh…

Dave the Magic Wolfie howls at the moon,

And frolics on the Interwebs, and draws those WolfieToons.

Dave the Magic Wolfie howls at the moon,

And frolics on the interwebs, and draws those WolfieToons.

Forever he is drawing, transforming bottoms pale.      

Wolfie does his own research on rosening girl's tails.

Forever he is searching for bottoms plump and round;

Naughty Imps will lower their pants when Wolfie comes around.

Dave the Magic Wolfie howls at the moon,

And frolics on the Interwebs, and draws those WolfieToons.

Dave the Magic Wolfie howls at the moon,

And frolics on the interwebs, and draws those WolfieToons.

Spanks don't sting forever, despite our protest noise;

But painted bums and penciled puns will always bring us joys.

Today is Wolfie's birthday, the Dave that we adore;

The day he started on this path, to make us Imps so sore.

His head's full of tomorrow, planning his next toon.

Wolfie's got an itch, you see, to spank some Imps real soon.

He is our life-long friend, so the Imps must all be brave;

We'll take his birthday spankings now, and Happy Birthday, Dave!

Dave the Magic Wolfie howls at the moon,

And frolics on the Interwebs, and draws those WolfieToons.

Dave the Magic Wolfie howls at the moon,

And frolics on the interwebs, and draws those WolfieToons.

And you oughta hear her actually sing that!!  

Here's one I did while the wind was sweeping down the plains.  Sing it to "Surrey With the Fringe On the Top" from Rodgers and Hammerstein's "Oklahoma!" 

Chicks and Imps and Teases better scurry

when I git th’ paddle in a hurry!

When I git my paddle in a hurry,

I’m a furry Top!

Watch that lace and see how it flutters!

I’ll reduce th’ brats down to stutters!

Noisy Imps will learn not to mutter or

they’ll get a POP!

They’ll squeal and holler when turned upside down,

’cause my paddle’s gen-u-wine leather!

The Imps have panties y’ can roll down

to make them all behave better!

Two bright cheeks, can’t get any redder!

Now she squeaks, “Oh, please, I’ll do better!”

You can bet your butt that she’d better

or her rear I’ll strop!

I’m the funny furry critter who’s a

firm, loving Top!!”

Maybe some day I'll write more of that!  Sometimes a snippet will do, like this one derived from Disney's "Mary Poppins!"

When she was just a little lass, inclined to pull a prank,

Her nanny put her on her knee and gave her butt a spank!

And then one day she learned a word that quite explained her zeal,

the biggest word you ever heard to tell you how it feels!

Oh! Superswatafragilesitspotohitisdelicious!

And you'll sit quite carefully, it tingles and it itches!

Superswatafragilesitspotohitisdelicious!

Superswatafragilesitspotohitisdelicious!

And now, one of my very favorites, the one Larken wrote and posted on Season and Michael's "BLOSSOM AND THORN" blog!  Any Dean Martin fans here?  You'll really get a kick out of this improved version of "That's Amore!"  

(In Spankoli, where love is King, when Top Meets Imp, here's what they say)

When the moon hits His eye 'cause you're over His thigh

That's amore!

When He makes your tush shine 'cause you've had too much wine

That's amore!

Imps will sing, what's that thing, ouch what sting

But they'll sing a cappella!

Imps will prance; they will dance, without pants

Like a hot tarantella!

When your Top is old school and He makes a new rule,

That's amore!

When you dance on His lap with each loud ouchy slap,

You're in love!

When you're spanked 'til you gleam

It's your dream, and you might want some-more-ay

Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Spankoli

That's amore!

When His spoon makes you cry 'cause you did not comply

That's amore!

When His brush makes you whine 'cause you stepped out of line

That's amore!

Tops will say, "Imps obey."

You might stray, and 'cause you're not vanilla

You'll be tipped,

Over all the way,

Spanked without delay,

He's a real Toppy fella!

You're an angel all day, and you just want to play

That's amore!

Then Top Logic appears and you're flipped OTK

You're in love!

When your life is a dream that's come true, you adore your Signore!

You lie over His knee and you're spanked happily,

That's amore!

Standing ovation, lovely Larken!!  

By the way, that last dotted derriere is a detail from the current cartoon over at "DISCIPLINE & DESIRE!"  Believe it or not, it's a Thanksgiving 'toon!

And if you feel inspired, please feel free to contribute your riffs below, or e-mail 'em to me and I'll edit this entry! 

Handprints!

Just musing here about the appeal of handprints.

  I don't know that they actually denote "ownership," like the dye-paint handprints some Natives used to slap on their ponies' flanks, but it does seem to announce to the world, "I've handled this lovely, dear-to-my-heart mischief maker," and, on the other hand, "I've got a really cute love-tat from my handsome lover and aren't the rest of you jealous?" 

 They're funny and sexy.  And really, that's all the analysis we need.

I recall as a tot seeing the Walter Lantz cartoon "Fox and the Rabbit" on TV, which ended thus

and something deep inside tiny Wolfie said, "I like that. I wonder why?"

As a young teen, still in front of the set, I thought some of the other cartoons could use handprints, too.

Now there are the "painted" kind of prints.  

and you can even use flour in the kitchen!  In fact, I've done that,  just like this TV guy, only with better aim.

There were a couple of times at the pool I gave my college lover a nice,  wet hand-smack-print that showed up admirably on the seat of her suit.  It looked more-or-less like this artistic reproduction.

But one day I discovered it wasn't a joke, it wasn't just a cartoon, you actually could put a red handprint on a round fanny!!

(And my thanks to various Web Sources for sharing!)

   

Talk about making your mark in the world!  

So handprints (and even paw prints ) have shown up in several WolfieToons through the years.

Like anything done well, making a nice, clear handprint on a cute female fanny take practice.  Lots and lots of practice.  So excuse me while I pursue artistic endeavors.  First of all I'll have to pursue and catch my "canvas." 

I suspect it won't be all that long a chase. 

By the way, didja see the new and spiffy Free Area at "DISCIPLINE & DESIRE?"  

Go click on the pictures there and see what all comes up!  (Yes, that was a deliberate joke.)

"Discipline & Desire" News!

I'm delighted to tell you that the spankin' new FREE PAGE AT "DISCIPLINE AND DESIRE" is up!

Click on those blue letters to see the weekly update, with five free romantic spanking stories--  three free chapters from the novels-- three FULL-SIZE WolfieToons, including the Halloween cartoon Larken wrote-- details about the eBook editions-- information on how you could write for "D&D"-- a link to our thirteen-year-old Yahoo group-- and membership details, too.

Here's what editor Nattie Jones told everyone in the aforementioned Yahoo group:

We now do updates on Saturday evenings, and we have eBook editions of our weekly stories that you can read on your eReader (Kindle, Kobo, Nook, Sony, and iPad... and most every eReader!) or an eReader app on your computer, like Kindle for PC, Adobe Acrobat Reader, or Nook for PC.

Coming before the end of the year is a redesign of the member's area, with easier navigation, the ability to comment on stories, interact with each other, and interact with authors. I can't wait for it! I know Yahoo! Groups aren't as active as they used to be, but I really miss the close community we had here in the "olden days" of the Internet.

I hope you enjoy the new free stories!

So have a look, I think you'll be pleased!  

Things That Go Spank In the Night

I admire those of you who have the DISCIPLINE & DESIRE (Har!) to keep up your Blogtivity!  There is a lot of older stuff to scroll through here at the WoofieBlog, but "real life," gainful employment, and other distractions have made new entries precious and few.  Sorry about that!  However, here is some Halloween Fun!!

During a conversation with Larken, it occurred to me that that, oddly enough, there aren't enough Werewolves in Halloween WolfieToons!  And then she wrote one on the spot!  It's this week's 'toon!

The new "free page" at "D&D" is still baking, so here is your "preview!"

How about a couple of early drafts for the five-year-old Halloween greeting you must've seen around the web?

I got that far in the inking and thought, "Nah, somethings's not quite right.  Let's try again."  And thus--  

That one's actually worse!  It's all skewed to one side like I was trying to draw it lying down!

Well, back to the proverbial drawing board--

Yeah, that's the ticket!  It eventually became this:

By the way, if you've never seen the 1931 "Frankenstein," you have a treat in store!  Here's the creation scene, which, to my mind, has never topped in all the other versions. 

Y'know, several of the Universal Movie Monsters have wandered into WolfieToons, like this guy:

Say, didja know the Gill Man was designed by a woman named Millicent Patrick?  

She was a commercial artist, illustrator of children's books, fashion designer and actress. ("Actor," say the P.C. moderns.)  Her Universal boss. makeup department head Bud Westmore, initially took credit for the Creature because, well, because he was a putz.

Anyway, Gill had a great time on the set.

Here's a monster movie poster with no monster on it!  How did they expect to lure all the monster-loving teenage boys and teenage-hearted men into the theater?! 

That's Julie Adams in a wonderful white one-piece suit.

Here's Julie in short shorts.  

What was I talking about?  Who cares?

"Oh, no, no, don't spank me again!!"

And now, here is some vampire spanking.

OK, this next one isn't really spanking.

Peter Cushing played vampire-slayer Van Helsing in the Hammer movies of the 60's, but in 1974, he played an actor who played Dracula in a deservedly obscure French movie with the English title 'Tender Dracula."  The lovely young woman who got her (unseen in this scene) bare bottom smacked was named Miou Miou, not to be confused with the catfood song. 

I couldn't make heads or tails of exactly why Peter spanked Miou-Miou.  Mr. Cushing was always good, but this movie is not.  However, if morbid curiosity compels you, you can find it on YouTube.  The spanking is toward the end.  So to speak. 

Well, have fun this All Hallow's Eve, and I hope Sandy Claws brings you lots of candy and paddles!

Mommy Got Spanked!!

Finding out about Sex at age ten or so was a pretty shocking thing to me.  They put what where??!  Aw, c'mon, you're making that up!!  Then my cousins laughed at me.

So I after I consulted actual authoritative sources and acknowledged the truth of the matter, I had to ponder that my parents were Sexual Beings.  Mind-blowing, dude.

I'd always seen them hug and cuddle and kiss, and on very rare occasions I saw Dad put Mom over his lap and playfully (but firmly!) spank her butt while she giggled her head off.  And said "Ouch!!"  

The fact that I'd always found such activity enticing and highly entertaining began to make  a little bit of sense.    

There's just something very grin-worthy of having mothers-- who so often give spankings-- get them, too!

The acronym "M.I.L.S." will never catch on, but here are some examples from "DISCIPLINE & DESIRE"  WolfieToons new and old, starting with this pencil version:  

      .   

That's "Reesa Roberts" on the writing credit!  

And there's a story behind that drawing I've told HERE!

By the way, the spankin' new server and host and whatchacallit doodad for "D&D" is still pending, but oughta be up soon!!