Dave Wolfe who does "WolfieToons!": Heracles

My fragmented attention has been needed for various family crises, and so this blog has languished unused and undusted for two months. My apologies to any who sought fresh inspirational material and cheap thrills here. Let's see what I can do to make it up to you.

This week's WolfieToon at "DISCIPLINE & DESIRE" illustrates a little-known Greek myth that demonstrates the consequences of making mischief, creating chaos and confusion, and generally acting like a horse's-- well, generally misbehaving.

Yes, that is the Greek Mythological Hero Heracles, who the Romans re-named Hercules.

The first time I encountered Hercules was via the Trans-Lux TV Cartoon in 1964; I was eight, and Cadet Don had it on his morning kids' show on KTRK, Channel 13 in Houston, Texas! A fella named Johnny Nash sang the rousing theme song; he had a big hit later with "I Can See Clearly Now!"

Does this version of Herc seem familiar? I think I know why...

In any case,. I fell in love with this cartoon. Thought it was the coolest thing. ever. But then, was an easily impressed, unsophisticated eight-to-ten-year old. Looking at it now, I see elements of goofiness that must have been irresistible to makers of TV cartoons in the Olden Days. For instance, in the first cartoon-- Behold! Lurking in a dark cave, seeking whom he may devour--

EEK! Run!! It's the JackieGleasonOsaurus!!

"And Awaaaaaaay We Go!!"

There was also this suspiciously suggestive upskirt shot the first time Herc leapt off Mount Olympus!!

Yeesh. Well, some of you may like it. Myself, I enjoyed the nicely-rounded bottom they gave Helena, Herc's alleged girlfriend. But watch him go all Li'l Abner in her clutches.

Look at his hands hanging fecklessly there! How clueless can ya be?!

Unless you're an unsophisticated eight-to-ten year old boy..

They redesigned the characters after that first cartoon. Helena seems a little less curvy--

--but Herc is a lot Toppier! Look at him about to spank her!

Well, okay, he didn't, but it sure LOOKS like he wants to!

Now the Heracles / Hercules of ancient myth was very Toppy, and anything but clueless. In fact, for the originators of those tales, Herc was so aggressively, impressively, and admirably masculine that he frequently had his way with any number of girl bottoms, boy bottoms, mythological monster bottoms, possum bottoms-- there was just no stopping the testosterone-mad lad!!

Not that I knew anything about that at the time. The Trans-Lux TV cartoon drove me to the school library to check out and devour every single volume of Greek / Roman mythology on the shelves, several of which were beyond my official grade reading level. Sexual references, implicit or explicit, zoomed over my head unheard and unheeded.

Of course, I caught up, and when Disney re-released "Fantasia" a few years later, I knew exactly why the Centaurettes in the "The Pastoral Symphony" episode appealed to me.

As a lad, I also began to enjoy the strangely-dubbed Sword-And-Sandal movies on TV Saturday afternoons, with Hercules portrayed by Steve Reeves!!

And Gordon Scott!!

And Alan Steel!!

Of course, there were lots of others, which later included Lou Ferrigno and Former CA Gov Arnold!

Then came Kevin Sorbo-- the first Hercules ever to wear pants!!

On a regular basis.

Oh, and because you would expect some actual spankage on the WolfieBlog, here's an Endart drawing of Kevin Hercules' buddy Xena spanking her bosom companion Gabrielle.

There were lots of other versions of Heracles / Hercules, too, like the one appearing in Marvel Comics:

This fella fueled the frisky fantasies of one Jennifer Walters, AKA the sensational She-Hulk!

(That's by John Byrne in "The Sensational She-Hulk," Vol 2, Number 8, Cover date December 1989-- page 11!)

Now, speaking of comics... starting in the nineties, producer / animator Bruce Timm began making TV cartoon versions of the DC heroes for Warner Bros. After having a big hit with his "Batman" series, he decided to follow up with the biggest of them all, but was having trouble settling on a pleasing design for Superman.

That looks pretty good to me, but Bruce rejected it.

Then one of his collaborators brought in a videotape of those old and odd Trans-Lux "Hercules" cartoons, just for grins, and Bruce had a look and cried, "Eureka!": (Or something like that.) They copied the face exactly, which I think completed the circle!

And now, to reward the fellas for their patience thus far, here are a couple of Babes drawn by Bruce Timm. It'll keep your... interest up.

Oh, there was another, much better cartoon version of Hercules. The Disney crew did it, and did it extremely well!

(Here are the Muses singing "From Zero To Hero!" You'll catch a glimpse of Hades, who in the rest of the flick is played to perfection by James Woods.)