WolfieToons by Dave Wolfe

WolfieToons by Dave Wolfe

Wednesday, August 19, 2020

Time For Reeling and Writhing and Rhythm Tic

 Thankfully there are responsible, sensible, and caring adults who are putting thought into how to keep our schoolchildren safe and healthy this fall semester, in spite of a severe lack of any of that (not even a hint!) from the federal dunderheads whose job that is supposed to be!

Thus, topically and Top-ically, WolfieToons from previous Geological Strata:









Tuesday, August 11, 2020

It's Larken's Birthday!

 This one time, but not in band camp, I gave Larken this Birthday Button:



And she wore it all day!

No.

Yes, she did, and got seven offers!

No. 

Maybe it was five.

One really good one.

And she wrote this WolfieToon, A Revised Antediluvian Tale:



In which I deliberately hid everything of any prurient interest!  Ha, take that!  

But it reminds me of another True Story:  Larken once appeared live on stage as Eve!

Really?

Yes, and they did Authentic Costuming

What?

All Natural!  Or is that, "au natural."

Now you have committed a Fibhood.

No indeed, I heard it from Randy Beaman's cousin Harry!



I'm just wild about Harry, and so is Larken.  Here's Wild Harry now:




Happiest Birthday, Querida!


Here's a song parody she wrote;  whoever does the best Dean Martin, call me, and we'll record it!


THAT'S AMORE

by Larken


(In Spankoli, where love is King, when Top Meets Imp, here's what they say~!)


When the moon hits His eye 'cause you're over His thigh

That's amore!

When He makes your tush shine 'cause you've had too much wine

That's amore!

Imps will sing, what's that thing, ouch what sting,

But they'll sing a cappella!

Imps will prance; they will dance, without pants

Like a hot tarantella!


When your Top is old school and He makes a new rule,

That's amore!

When you dance on His lap with each loud ouchy slap,

You're in love!

When you're spanked 'til you gleam

It's your dream, and you might want some-more-ay,

Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Spankoli

That's amore!


When His spoon makes you cry 'cause you did not comply

That's amore!

When His brush makes you whine 'cause you stepped out of line

That's amore!

Tops will say, "Imps obey!"

You might stray, and 'cause you're not vanilla,

You'll be tipped,

Over all the way,

Spanked without delay,

He's a real Toppy fella!


You're an angel all day, and you just want to play,

That's amore!

Then Top Logic appears and you're flipped OTK,

You're in love!

When you're life is a dream that's come true, you adore your Signore!

You lie over His knee and you're spanked happily,

That's amore!




Thursday, August 6, 2020

FOooooore! play

Many of the men of my family play golf.  But not I. 

So when these drawings from the redoubtable Frank Frazetta popped up, I began to wonder what I might be missing!





Especially if I got good enough to coach!




As a topper, this has nothing to do with golf, but I thought you'd enjoy this Frank Frazetta image, too!



Thursday, July 30, 2020

Whozat?

Wolfies do what Wolfies do.

I'm no Mort Drucker, no Jack Davis, nor a Tom Richmond;  I'm unskilled at caricature, but I sometimes try, just for the helluvit!

By the way, I'm re-writing this post from last night because I decided to explain WHO these characters are supposed to resemble!  Adding to the confusion, there was rarely any germane reason for the choices!

For instance, here's Christopher Lee (ish) instructing a class in his wonderful, deep, mellifluous voice:




Then again, if you're looking to cast a classy, British-accented, imposing, subtly scary fella as the Instructor, Mr. Lee is pretty good choice!


Don't know if this looks all that much like Elwood P. Dowd as portrayed by Jimmy Stewart, but I got that Pooka Rabbit Harvey just right!! 




Behold!  Some Actual Slapstick!!

This version of "The Great Stoneface" Buster is somewhere between his silent movie comedy prime and his appearances in "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum," and all those stupid 60's A.I.P. Beach Movies!  

(By the way, when this was new, Springrose's reaction was funnier than the cartoon itself!  She said to me, "Hey, I like the rump on that gal!!"  😃 )




I don't recall if I was really trying to caricature Buffalo Bob Smith of early Kid TV Show fame, or was just employing his costume for the gag here! 

But I seen my Doody and I done it. 





Did Sean ever make a remark in any movie about crackers in bed?  Probably not, so there was no reason to attempt his face here, other than to see if anyone would say anything!  

I just took license.  (One of the nine "double-0's" available.)




However, casting Ol' Walter Brennan as Ol' Pop Sizzle made perfect sense here!  He fit the role so well, like the Real McCoy!

(And only More Mature Persons or Rerun TV Addicts will get that lame joke.)  




That's All, Folks!



??



Tuesday, July 14, 2020

The Demand!!




This young woman certainly is going the right way for a smacked bottom, but there are several unanswered questions:

Did she decide to make life easier for her obtuse lover with a clear request?

Is she perhaps experiencing a sudden, severe, shocking surcharge of hormones?

Or is she just really fed up with our current stressful situation?

Is she wearing her newest bikini, or her most colorful lingerie?

Where did the fella get that shirt?

Was it the same place he got the Krypton hair and eyeglasses?

What drugs is that cat on?

And just where the hell ARE these people?

Can't Wolfie draw backgrounds?

Now you have fodder for fantasy, even though Fodder's Day was last month.

Friday, July 3, 2020

Stars and Stripes!

That phrase begat the ideas for these 4th of July-centric WolfieToons!

I wasn't sure if I communicated the alleged gag here very well:




There have been oceans full of Uncle Sam 'toons, but how many in which he is appropriately dressed for the summer weather?




Strike up the band... leader.




Here's the first version of that cartoon-- I got this far in inking it before deciding it could be better.




Whether it really was is debatable.  Sometimes I overwork t hings!




Happy Independence Day!  The Artificially Orange-Flavored Petulant Pretender and the damage he encourages won't last forever, nor the tide of fear and actual instances of injustice he rode in on.  Take heart!



Hiya, Pops!

Seems the noise is some of the excitement on Independence Day!  Here's a holiday WolfieToon from 2008!




In 2011, I did the same gag!  Well,no, the ice cream flavor is different!







Thursday, July 2, 2020

Heading (to the) Fourth!

As we head toward an unusual holiday weekend, I'll trot out some topical 'toons!  Depending on who you are and where you've been, they may be new to you, or they may be reruns, but hopefully fun either way!

Here's an early cartoony-style cartoon!




That was the first Independence Day WolfieToon for the (now long gone) "Discipline & Desire" story paysite!   Eight years later, speaking of Fiery Ends, there was this one!




As the Tonight Show commercial break cards used to say,