In the spirit of Spike Jones, Stan Freberg, "MAD" magazine, and "Weird Al" Yankovic, here are some spankin' song parodies just for giggles!
The first one Larken did for my birthday, back in March, to the tune of Peter, Paul and Mary's "Puff the Magic Dragon!" And here's a new cartoon to go with it!
Dave the Magic Wolfie howls at the moon,
And frolics on the Interwebs, and draws those WolfieToons.
Little spanking capers, all that kinky stuff,
Swats and stings and ouchy things, he never gets enough!
Oh…
Dave the Magic Wolfie howls at the moon,
And frolics on the Interwebs, and draws those WolfieToons.
Dave the Magic Wolfie howls at the moon,
And frolics on the interwebs, and draws those WolfieToons.
Forever he is drawing, transforming bottoms pale.
Wolfie does his own research on rosening girl's tails.
Forever he is searching for bottoms plump and round;
Naughty Imps will lower their pants when Wolfie comes around.
Dave the Magic Wolfie howls at the moon,
And frolics on the Interwebs, and draws those WolfieToons.
Dave the Magic Wolfie howls at the moon,
And frolics on the interwebs, and draws those WolfieToons.
Spanks don't sting forever, despite our protest noise;
But painted bums and penciled puns will always bring us joys.
Today is Wolfie's birthday, the Dave that we adore;
The day he started on this path, to make us Imps so sore.
His head's full of tomorrow, planning his next toon.
Wolfie's got an itch, you see, to spank some Imps real soon.
He is our life-long friend, so the Imps must all be brave;
We'll take his birthday spankings now, and Happy Birthday, Dave!
Dave the Magic Wolfie howls at the moon,
And frolics on the Interwebs, and draws those WolfieToons.
Dave the Magic Wolfie howls at the moon,
And frolics on the interwebs, and draws those WolfieToons.
And you oughta hear her actually sing that!!
Here's one I did while the wind was sweeping down the plains. Sing it to "Surrey With the Fringe On the Top" from Rodgers and Hammerstein's "Oklahoma!"
Chicks and Imps and Teases better scurry
when I git th’ paddle in a hurry!
When I git my paddle in a hurry,
I’m a furry Top!
Watch that lace and see how it flutters!
I’ll reduce th’ brats down to stutters!
Noisy Imps will learn not to mutter or
they’ll get a POP!
They’ll squeal and holler when turned upside down,
’cause my paddle’s gen-u-wine leather!
The Imps have panties y’ can roll down
to make them all behave better!
Two bright cheeks, can’t get any redder!
Now she squeaks, “Oh, please, I’ll do better!”
You can bet your butt that she’d better
or her rear I’ll strop!
I’m the funny furry critter who’s a
firm, loving Top!!”
Maybe some day I'll write more of that! Sometimes a snippet will do, like this one derived from Disney's "Mary Poppins!"
When she was just a little lass, inclined to pull a prank,
Her nanny put her on her knee and gave her butt a spank!
And then one day she learned a word that quite explained her zeal,
the biggest word you ever heard to tell you how it feels!
Oh! Superswatafragilesitspotohitisdelicious!
And you'll sit quite carefully, it tingles and it itches!
Superswatafragilesitspotohitisdelicious!
Superswatafragilesitspotohitisdelicious!
And now, one of my very favorites, the one Larken wrote and posted on Season and Michael's "BLOSSOM AND THORN" blog! Any Dean Martin fans here? You'll really get a kick out of this improved version of "That's Amore!"
(In Spankoli, where love is King, when Top Meets Imp, here's what they say)
When the moon hits His eye 'cause you're over His thigh
That's amore!
When He makes your tush shine 'cause you've had too much wine
That's amore!
Imps will sing, what's that thing, ouch what sting
But they'll sing a cappella!
Imps will prance; they will dance, without pants
Like a hot tarantella!
When your Top is old school and He makes a new rule,
That's amore!
When you dance on His lap with each loud ouchy slap,
You're in love!
When you're spanked 'til you gleam
It's your dream, and you might want some-more-ay
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Spankoli
That's amore!
When His spoon makes you cry 'cause you did not comply
That's amore!
When His brush makes you whine 'cause you stepped out of line
That's amore!
Tops will say, "Imps obey."
You might stray, and 'cause you're not vanilla
You'll be tipped,
Over all the way,
Spanked without delay,
He's a real Toppy fella!
You're an angel all day, and you just want to play
That's amore!
Then Top Logic appears and you're flipped OTK
You're in love!
When your life is a dream that's come true, you adore your Signore!
You lie over His knee and you're spanked happily,
That's amore!
Standing ovation, lovely Larken!!
By the way, that last dotted derriere is a detail from the current cartoon over at "DISCIPLINE & DESIRE!" Believe it or not, it's a Thanksgiving 'toon!
And if you feel inspired, please feel free to contribute your riffs below, or e-mail 'em to me and I'll edit this entry!
