Dave The Magic Wolfie!

Several years ago, Larken touched my heart and funny bone at the same time with this "Puff" Parody!  She even sent me a recording of her singing it, with guitar accompaniment! 

It's one of my most treasured gifts, so I'll share it again here for you, and add some Birthday Spanking Pictures, because we all know it's better to give than receive!  In some cases!

I'm sure you know the tune, sing along!

Dave the Magic Wolfie howls at the moon,

And  frolics on the Interwebs, and draws those WolfieToons!

Little spanking capers, all that kinky stuff,

Swats and stings and ouchy things, he never gets enough!

Oh…

Dave the Magic Wolfie howls at the moon,

And frolics on the Interwebs, and draws those WolfieToons!

Dave the Magic Wolfie howls at the moon,

And  frolics on the Interwebs, and draws those WolfieToons!

Forever he is drawing, transforming bottoms pale. 

Wolfie does his own research on rosening girl's tails!

Forever he is searching for bottoms plump and round;

Naughty Imps will lower their pants when Wolfie comes around!

Dave the Magic Wolfie howls at the moon,

And  frolics on the Interwebs, and draws those WolfieToons!

Dave the Magic Wolfie howls at the moon,

And  frolics on the Interwebs, and draws those WolfieToons!

Spanks don't sting forever, despite our protest noise;

But painted bums and penciled puns will always bring us joys!

Today is Wolfie's birthday, the Dave that we adore;

The day he started on this path, to make us Imps so sore!

His head's full of tomorrow, planning his next 'toon.

Wolfie's got an itch, you see, to spank some Imps real soon! 

He is our life-long friend, so the Imps must all be brave;

We'll take his birthday spankings now, and Happy Birthday, Dave!

Dave the Magic Wolfie howls at the moon,

And  frolics on the Interwebs, and draws those WolfieToons!

Dave the Magic Wolfie howls at the moon,

And  frolics on the Interwebs, and draws those WolfieToons!

Happy Birthday, DW!

Thank you again, Darlin'!

With Giant Hugs!

And all my love!

And Love Pats!!

The End At The End of the Rainbow!

Ah, sure and it's the reds of the spectrum that'll be showing most clearly now!

Home Decorating!

For the Do-It-Yourselfers:

Playtime!

Behold, I bring you tidings of hope and joy!

Believe it or not, this nasty, wintry mess will be gone at some point soon, and we'll be able to go outside and play!

Thus:

Heart and Heavy!

If you go into the shops today, you'd better go in disguise.

No, I mean, you might find this card where you least expect it!

(Dern Kids!!)

You'll find lots of cards out there now!

Say what now?

She wants the Full Mounty, I bet.

But, as you can see in this WolfieToon, there's a lot to be said for making it yourself!

Have fun!  Have a Happy Heart Day!

Wolfie's Swimsuit Special!

Somebody told me that sports magazine isn't going to do their swimsuit spectacular until May, and I say-- what the heck?!

Isn't the whole idea to have some anticipatory warmth to get through the last of the nasty, cold winter weather?  

Well, it is here on the Wolfie Blog!  Behold!!

(The story you have just seen is true.  Only the names have been changed so that the innocent won't be found guilty.)

Bet you feel nice and warm now, eh?

You're welcome!

Wood He? Gladly!

Apparently today, on this most unremarkable of all alleged holidays,  Groundhog Punxsutawney Phil and his cousins Woody Woodchuck, Wilbert WhistlePig, and Larry B. LandBeaver emerged from their underground bunkers to a cloudy sky, saw no Shadow 

and therefore concluded that Sprng would appear early this year.  We shall see.

This animal, Marmota monax, as you no doubt recall, is a rodent of the family Sciuridae, belonging to the family of large ground squirrels known as Marmots.  These varmints are Marmots. Young Groundhogs may be called "Chucklings."  Here's a Groundhog Chuckling now:

In the Olden Days, when a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking, Germans looked for the Badger coming out of hibernation on Candlemas Day, halfway between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox.  If the Badger saw its shadow, a "second winter" was on the way!

In 1887, twenty-two years after the Civil War, when Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show was showing off for Queen Victoria in England and then touring Europe, and Nikola Tesla began experimenting with X-Rays, an undeservedly uncelebrated group here in the U.S. of A. decided that Our Pal the Groundhog should become the National Prognosticator. The Whistling Woodchuck was 'Merican, you see. 

Of course, the real reason our buddy was roused from hibernation was arousal.  He was looking for Romance.

During the ten years of my tenure at "Discipline & Desire," weekly cartoon ideas on a limited topic were sometimes hard to come by, and therefore holidays and even psuedo-holidays provided fodder.  Like Fodder's Day. 

I did this rejected cartoon.  It was rejected not because it wasn't very good, and it certainly isn't, but because Ground Hog Day was over, although that's kinda the point.

So later on, I did a better version.  You may have seen it before, but Holiday Reruns are a Thing.

So if you've had a bad, cold and nasty couple of weeks, take heart!  There is hope!  Warmth of all kinds is on the way!!

Public Contact

I've always been told the Traffic Enforcement Division does not have a "quota" of citations officers are required to give, but "public contact" is strongly encouraged.

Wolfie's Familiar Quotations

Springrose said, and I quote, "That girl just looks like she really deserves to be spanked!"

Horatio Jamison:  "Quotes, unquotes, and quotes."

Captain Spaulding:  That's three quotes?

Horatio Jamison:  Yes, sir.

Catain Spaulding:  Add another quote and make it a gallon.