In the Marx Brothers' movie "Horsefeathers," Professor Wagstaff (Groucho) is out on the lake purportedly pitching woo to "college widow" Connie (Thelma Todd) and tells her,
"You know, this is the first time I've been out in a canoe since I saw "The American Tragedy.'"
She assures him, "Oh, you're perfectly safe. Professor, in this boat."
"I don't know," says Wagstaff, "I was going to get a flat bottom, but the girl at the boathouse didn't have one."
(Detail from a WolfieToon Larken wrote-- stay tuned!)
Now. it's been rare for me to encounter a woman who said, "I want a bigger butt!"
As a matter of fact, being a somewhat suspicious wolfie, it seems that a penchant for padded panties might have less to do with wanting to show off a rounded rump and more with a mischievous Imp wanting some protective buffer against the likelihood of a heated hiney.
After all, in an emergency, one may not always have a handy copy of "Cosmopolitan" or some similar hefty tome to surreptitiously slide into the seat of one's designer jeans.
In fact, they were using such a garment on stage recently!
Erica Scott wrote about the play "Permission" IN THIS BLOG ENTRY!
"Lay on, Macduff, my duff is buffered!"
"Eek! I covered my ass for anything except MOM OUT IN THE AUDIENCE!!"
Nevertheless-- I have seen seen historical records
and late-night TV ads
that indicate some flat-bottomed girls do indeed want artificial flirtation augmentation.
BUTT--
What happens when those padded panties come down, for play, or spanking, or play-spanking, or even spanking play?!
Therefore, a natural solution is required!
Wolfie To the Rescue!!
Behold!
You're welcome!
Hahaha! I love this! You know Horse Feathers is one of my favorites.
ReplyDeleteHate to debunk your product, Wolfie, but if that thing really worked, I'd have the curviest, roundest bum in all creation! :-D Ah, if it were only true that spanking would tone and shape the bottom.
Yeah, good question about those padded panties and what happens when they come off. I think they're more for show than anything else -- like actresses wearing them under a slinky dress at the Oscar's or something. I don't think women necessarily want a BIGGER bottom -- but sometimes our shape could use a little help!!
Thanks, Erica!
DeleteWhat, you mean to say your sculpted derriere derives from some other physical activity? From my intense study of Erica Blog Pictures, I find that very hard to accept, and must continue in denial.
Speaking of shapely items reminds me of this song by the T-Bones used in the late 60's Alka-Selzer ads!
So you can slip your scintillating shape into something slinky and we'll sneak off to the speakeasy! Swordfish!!
(laughing) Believe it or not, I have that song on my iPod, along with a lot of other obscure 50s-60s instrumentals!
DeleteThat is because you're the maximum utmost-- the ginchiest!
DeleteI had the Hugo Montenegro movie hits on 45's and flipped when I suddenly recognized his name on the "I Dream of Jeannie" credits!!
Wolfie - I just want to know where do I apply for the BB Trained Technician position? I'm ready!
ReplyDeleteErica - I have known a couple of girls who have wanted bigger bottoms. Maybe they meant more shapely, but they definitely had a couple tricks to add some curvage (is that a word) to their bottoms?
The BBTT Crew is thoroughly delighted to have someone of your qualifications, Enzo! In fact, you shall enter in a leadership position as a full colonel! Or is that "full kernel?" And by the way, "curvage" is completely correct!
DeleteWolfie I am honored to serve with and lead this Crew! (I was a corporal once, but a Colonel - now that is quite a high rank.) My question is, will the orders ever come in; are there any ladies out there who will ever call us into action?
DeleteAn inexperienced punster might mention "Corporal Punishment" for "General Principles," but I'll leave it alone. (is there a colonel of truth in that?) Anyway, yes, Enzo, we stand ready to make naughty Imps stand reddy. (Another Groucho line, "Well, all the jokes can't be good, you have to expect that every now and then.)
DeleteHrumph.
ReplyDeleteYou know, it could very well be, that some derrières are quite callipygous without the addition of supplementary padding, OR any assistance from Booty Bop Trained Technicians and their tools, thank you very much!
Although… the kernel of truth may be, that if those BBT Technicians come around trying to use their tools, supplementary padding might come in quite handy. :-P
Yes, Larken, Her Rump!
DeleteWe at Wolfie Ware Industries take paddles to-- I mean, take pity on the less-than-callipygous so that they may also enjoy all the attention given highly-developed heinies, both in the eye and the hand, because we know that beauty is in the eye of the butt-holder.
In which case the supplements should be a lot of vitamins, especially "E," which stands for "Eek!"