'Bots and Butts!

That detail is from this week's WolfieToon at  "DISCIPLINE & DESIRE," and is the latest version of a machine I've had in mind for decades.

First of all, on the Forever Coolometer, Robots are at Number Two,  just behind Dinosaurs.  But it's pretty close.  Sometimes people just can't make up their minds, and you have Dinosaur Robots.

My personal favorite, the robot I had circa 1961, was ROBOT COMMANDO!!

Don't be fooled by what the box says, you could control Robot Commando even if your name was Irving, and Under Your Command, he Ambled Menacingly in four directions like a tank, rolled his Hypnotic Eyeballs, hurled Projectile Spheres and SHOT MISSILES OUT OF THE TOP OF HIS HEAD!!  Red rubber-tipped missiles.  Holy Freudian Symbolism, Batman!

In turn, my boys had the TRANSFORMERS (Robots In Disguise!!) and the "Star Wars" 'Droids.

You'll notice how red is always a favorite color.

('Toon interpretation by Sadie Figueroa!)

Say, I bet you can find the ones YOU loved at this website:  THE OLD ROBOTS WEBSITE!

Well, anyway, two passions must eventually meld, and thus is born the Spanking Robot.

That's an early version of mine that I'm proud to see parading around the Web!

There have been others;  You "Big Bang Theory" types should recognize these two characters in a photo done by ADzArt at Deviantart!

"Carrie" from the British For-The-Men Mag "Mayfair" got a good scrubbing from her automaton assistant.  That's not quite a spanking, but it's pretty close.  A brush was involved.

(I think that's Don Lawrence's painting-- but that assumption is subject to correction!)

There are Bots paddling Bottoms all over the Web!  Do a search and see what's at Chross's site, Chicago Spanking Review, the Spank Statement, and Nik Zula's cartoons!  

I prefer the humanoid versions to the mere "spanking machines," which, as everybody knows, have always been in the Principal's Office.  

Now, regarding my latest version, Kaki wanted to know how it was controlled.  

Well, the red dial on the upper front-center of Robospankher 7.0 is the Control Setting, which One can adjust Herself.  It will ask "Are you certain of the number of smacks and intensity level?" and once she presses, "Yes," this cannot be changed, even by calling out "Banana Oil!" or some such.  

However, there is a Top Voice Recognition and Activation Override which can be used to change those settings, or to ensure that a proper paddling takes place in case the Top must be away. 

Which addresses a question Larken asked:  Why would a Top ever delegate this important duty to an electronic device?  It is not, as she slyly suggested, any laziness on his part, but is in fact an Emergency Measure, just in case he is required elsewhere but She Absolutely Positively Needs To Get Spanked Right Away.

As a matter of fact, Larken sugested that the Robospankher 7.0 was not any mechanical marvel at all, but Wolfie in his Halloween costume! 

Why I never.  

That Herman, Wotta Card!

What's funny about this picture is not the Gill Man in a suit.  It's that Herman Munster is about to swat his niece Marilyn on the butt.

And, no that's not giving me any ideas.

Well, maybe.

Nahh.

Well... 

Nahh...

Duck, Cat!!

Why is that feline so horrified by the details of my latest WolfieToons at "DISCIPLINE & DESIRE?"  It has to do with the reply I made to THIS ERICA SCOTT POST.

By the way, after reading that, you will never look at this guy the same way again: 

Anyway, here's the story:  

One of my best buddies and her husband are Officially Vanilla, but she is OH so far from boring.  For example, at my suggestion, she changed our Boss's computer home page to Shadow Lane while he was on vacation.  She even snickered at some of my early WolfieToons.

So one day, messing around on the Web, we found an image that cracked us up:

Now, that's absurd humor.  I'm not cruel, I've loved and been owned by many cats.  In fact, that might be what makes that so funny.  That, and the pathetic and plaintive little face at the bottom.

Well, I saved that image, and soon I began posting allegedly funny things at the MSN Group "Southern California Spanked Wives Club," like this: 

Then I shocked the Three SCSWC Managers by posting that Kitty Warning.  They each wrote me lovely and apologetic notes, hoping that I wouldn't take umbrage to the fact that they had removed the post, lest it offend some of the members, and because it really didn't have anything to do with "spanking," anyway.

I could have humorously and successfully argued that last point, but, no, I took no umbrage at all.  Umbrage is best left where you find it.

It did seem a little odd that any group of people whose robust sense of humor allowed them to participate in public parties with bare-bottom spankings might be uncomfortable with that Web Warning, but that's okay, it's a funny old world! 

However, Phil "Overbarrel" began remarking that my WolfieToons "could cause considerable kitten killage," so --

And the Cats will live a long, long time.

Cats And Imps

This detail from the new WolfieToon at "DISCIPLINE & DESIRE" brings to mind certain similarities:  a Cat is very Impy, and Imps can be rather Feline.  

And yet, there is a difference, expressed in the words of that famous Old TV Show Theme Song that I just made up:   

A cat is a cat, that's that, that's that

and you might as well talk to your tattered hat

as try to order about a cat as contrary as an Imp!

There's never a Brat more bold than that

whiskery one you'll find on the mat!

Just try a chat with the awful cat more contrary than an Imp!

People trying to train a cat will waste the time of day!

And Imps might think you will never whap if they all act the same way! 

A cat is a cat, that's that, that's that

But Impsters respond to a loving pat!

She'll never call you a dirty rat

If you go and do this:

Spank a contrary Imp!

So go ahead with the horseplay!

And if you're not sure how to proceed, I bet you'll find Inspiration from the story snippets at "D&D," as well as the complete first chapter of Maren Smith's "THE RAFFLE," and that of Robin Smith's "MILLENNIUM FALLS!"

Let's Face It!

Do you recognize this person?

Oh, that's the wrong shot, maybe not.

Well, anyway, I'm no JACK DAVIS, I'm no MORT DRUCKER, nor TOM RICHMOND, nor MARIE SEVERIN, but I really wanted to do a caricature for the gag in this week's WolfieToon at  "DISCIPLINE & DESIRE!"  (Which came from a chance remark lovely Springrose made!)

So I'd thought I'd show some of the struggle to achieve that here;  not that anyone gives a rat's patootie, but at least the work and paper used in the process won't be wasted.  

I collected photo references of the Fella I Had In Mind, noting the shape of the features and their relationships:  how the head was kinda round, the ears were kinda big, how the hairline looked, that the eyes were set fairly high up and wide apart, and the mouth was also wide and there was not much chin underneath a thick bottom lip.  So let the scribbles begin.

Ehh, no, the eyes are way too close together, and, nope the whole thing is off... 

Hey, that kinda looks like David Janssen-- or, Springrose says, maybe Johnny Cash!--  but not who I had in mind... so let's see what happens if I age him a bit and change the features.  Maybe a slightly different angle will help... 

Wow, that's almost Walter Matthau!  Too bad I'm not trying to draw Walter, I sorta like that drawing.  Sigh, well, okay, let's exaggerate the heck outta things to see if I can figure out where I'm going wrong... 

Hmmm.... 

Aw, CRAP, now he's Bela Lugosi, #@%^&*, Scribble Scribble!! 

Well I'll consult other references and try again... and again-- 

OK, that's not so bad!!

Some more tweaking and inking and coloring and the final thing is thus:

I had a particular person in mind for the Spankee as well, and oddly enough, I didn't have so much trouble with her face!

If you recognize 'em, I've succeeded enough for that, or you got a clue from the title of the cartoon.  :-D  

If you don't, I'll have to try another time, or you're a youngster who never watches TV reruns. 

Meanwhile, enjoy the snippets and free chapters of scintillating spanking stories at "D&D" this week, like the first chapeter of "DANGEROUS BEHAVIOR" by Michelle (always a hoot) Carlyle, and you can go down under (!!) for the start of "AUSSIE HEIRESS" by Jamie Phillips!

WolfieTools!

Aw, look what lovely Lady Larken sent me!  And it's not even Woofie Day!

 WolfieToon Tools

    Thought you might need these.          

You can throw all those other tools away.          

Except the ones that are attached, of course. 

Now I can color another three hundred seventy something cartoons!!

Thanks, Larken! 

Pink 'N' Plush

Here's the pink bottom featured in this week's WolfieToon at "DISCIPLINE & DESIRE!"

Honestly, I've lost count, but Editor Reesa Roberts says I've done over 370 cartoons for "D&D!"  That's a lot of pink bottoms!

Although, sometimes, to be different and funny, a WolfieToon might show no bottom at all, nor even any actual spankage, but evoke your imagination instead!

And sometimes, the only thing showing in a WolfieToon is a Lovely Bottom.  That's so the female viewers might imagine themselves in the picture, or the male viewers can relish the view, or maybe so Wolfie can do a cartoon quickly to meet a deadline. (Shhh, that last factor is just between you and me, don't tell nobody.)

Anyway, there's another batch of titillating tales and titillated tails at "D&D" today, including Free Samples (and you don't even have to dig through glucose-covered cereal to get to 'em!) -- go South of the Border with Jordan Grace in Chapter the First of "HEAVEN," and out t'th' ranch with Judith McLaren for the start of "VENGENCE CREEK!"

Now I gotta go get this week's cartoon inked, there're faces and stuff this time!

Instructional

Here is an older WolfieToon from "DISCIPLINE & DESIRE" that I found wandering around by itself on the dangerous InterWebs.  

Of course, I knew to take its hand, lead it home, smack its little bottom, and then give it hugs and kisses.

But there are some fellas new to this sort of thing, so it helps to have it all down in a convenient place.

(Don't know how the line drawing here got reproduced looking like gum-wrapper chains, to use Springrose's phrase, but I'm not gonna go back and fix it now!)

Cerealsy, Now! By Larken!

It's a well known fact that chickens like corn.  Which is why so many flock around here.  It's a flocked-up blog.

And by sheer happenstance, one of those cocks, making an appearance in the new WolfieToon at "DISCIPLINE & DESIRE" this week, bears a slight resemblance to an advertising icon for a breakfast food corn product, 

which provoked this response from Larken!     

Hiya, WolfeMan!  How's Trix?  

I love this toon!    I'd much rather be woken up with Sugar Smacks on my rear than a crow in my ear!    OK, maybe a whappity whap...   Look at her smiling...    Corn Flakes can wait.    On second thought, maybe I'd rather be seduced by someone's Lucky Charms    and have something toasted...    Just for Kix.  He'd say, "Honey Comb here for some Wackies, 

 and then some of Mr. Wonderfull's Surprize."   

And Post Toasties we'd be all Grins & Smiles & Giggles & Laughs.  

And I don't want any of that Vanilla Crunch!    Isn't it interesting that Vanilla Mr. Wonderfull's Surprize comes with puzzle cards, 

 but non-vanilla, er, Chocolate, comes with a ruler?!  

Very clever toon, I LIKE it!  And, gees, I know there's a Cock-A-Doodle Something joke in there somewhere...  I'm sure you'll find it sooner or later...   

Cheerio, DW!!

Quite a review, huh?!  Bet she was feeling her oats!!  Thanks, Larken, you're a doll!  

Say, if you've already read your cereal box, check out the free chapters of these "D&D" stories:      the start of  "NETWORKED" by Belle, and  the start of Nattie Jone's e-book, "Spanked With Care: A Sanders Spanking Center Book!"   But be careful, I disclaim any responsibility for  choking involving cereal or chickens.

Kimberly's Complicated Craftsmanship

This is Kimberly Ann Thomas.  She signs her artwork "KAT."

The top of Kimberly's latest work looks like this.

There seems to be some less-than-subtle statement there.  

The Top in her picture is a butthead??  Now we know the result of such a remark, spoken or graphically depicted.

But is she truly surprised or alarmed? 

  

Anyway, you can see the whole darn thing and more at "DISCIPLINE & DESIRE!"

Plus, this week's Free Bits start Jennifer Somersby's "THE TWO CHARLEYS." and Mandy Rogers's "FIRST AND FOREVER LOVE!"

Don't be cheated by crappy fan fiction inexplicably getting national attention when you can enjoy the real deal!!

Wolfie Says.

She's Got Freckles On Her!

The woman featured in this week's WolfieToon at "DISCIPLINE & DESIRE" reminds me of a song !

Here's the song by Larry Vincent:

And here's a later version recorded by the Four Vagabonds.  I don't think the lyrics are as intelligible, but I really like the vocal play!

Speaking of play, there are three free chapters over at "D&D" this week-- 

"THE MONCRIEF WITCHES" by Katrina

From "LEGAL BRIEFS: OVER THE KNEE JUSTICE," Chapter One of "The Bodyguard" by Celeste Jones

And also from Celeste,  the start of "TWENTY-ONE DAYS TO A BETTER ATTITUDE!" 

Enjoy!