WolfieToons by Dave Wolfe

WolfieToons by Dave Wolfe

Monday, October 31, 2011

Halloween Evening: A Wolfie Poem / Pastiche




'Twas Halloween evening, a bright crescent moon, 
not a creature was stirring, they didn't have spoons. 
The cobwebs were hung on the front door to dare
all little Impsters to Trick-or-Treat there.

'Cause Wolfie was waiting, with chocolate in paw,
to capture a bunch of the girls that he saw!
In cute little costumes they pranced through the street
with bags full of mischief to blackmail for sweets!

Then from the back yard came loud giggles and chatter!
He jumped, and the candy all fell from the platter!
Away to the back door he tripped and he stumbled!
Comaneci herself never had such a tumble!

The moon and six pants (hanging out there to dry)
gave the Luster at first all 'twas out there to spy.
When, what to his wondering eyes should appear
but over the fence climbed spankable rears!

He perceived they'd been trying a Halloween prank,
to Tee-Pee his house without getting spanked!  
Alas, now their plan had gone rather lame,
so he whistled and shouted and called out their names!

"Hi, Springrose, and Larken, Hey, Kaki and Bree! 
Season and Sarah and Jules the Pixie!  
Now, Lea, Veronica, Hermione, too! 
Poppy and Bonnie and Kiwigirliegirl, you!

Erica, Libby, Brandy and Pink!
Zelle and Shewolf the Lady, I think!
To Top is a chore, if I Top you all!
But I have invited more guys to this ball!"

And then in a twinkling all the spankings began, 
though warm, rosey bottoms had not been their plan!
Wolfie drew up his paw as the cue for his crew,
and down came their hands and some implements, too!

The Imps-- how they wiggled as heinies went cherry!
Their cheeks began glowing, the Tops were all merry!
And the smackings and whackings were heard for a mile
giving those in the know lascivious smiles!

No mischief was now going to be the Imps' works,
and they called the guys "turkeys" and "meanies" and "jerks!"
So the spanking continued 'till all were quite calm
and throbbing was felt both in butts and in palms.

Wolfe doled out the treats, to his team gave a whistle,
exclaiming how pockets now seemed to have missiles!
So he lowered the lights and he locked all his doors
and he howled to the night, "That's what spankings are for!!"

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22 comments:

  1. LarkenOctober 31, 2011 at 8:40 PM

    WOW!!! I am HOWLING on the floor! That is HILARIOUS!!! BRILLIANT!!! AMAZING!!! You are a GENIUS, DW!

    That is one of the finest pastiches ever! I am in awe. Wow. Now I have to go read it again. :-)

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  2. Dave WolfeOctober 31, 2011 at 8:49 PM

    Why thank you, Ma'am! All in a night's work. :-D

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  3. kiwigirliegirlOctober 31, 2011 at 9:10 PM

    bloody brilliant :) im in awe - thanks - me too i have to re-read it hehehehe

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  4. Dave WolfeOctober 31, 2011 at 9:14 PM

    My blushes! Come to think of it, yours, too! Thanks, Kiwigirliegirl!!

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  5. breeOctober 31, 2011 at 10:53 PM

    Darn it! Wolfe-foiled again! Quick! To the imp cave girls. We still have seven minutes left.

    Wolfe, you are too cool and spiffy of an artisan.

    Thanks for the trick and the treat. Owie!! ;)

    Hugs and purrs.

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  6. breeOctober 31, 2011 at 10:55 PM

    Actually, Time difference. Two hours left.

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  7. EricaNovember 1, 2011 at 12:09 AM

    Ah, Wolfie, you are Genius. :-)

    Thrilled to be included in that illustrious list!

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  8. Dave WolfeNovember 1, 2011 at 1:12 AM

    Thanks, Bree! Always happy to cause purring! And not to worry-- although Halloween is "officially" over, I understand that Impishness (and its resulting consequences) is a year-round sport!

    Hiya, Erica! Thanks, Doll! Oh yes, when I think of spanking, I think of Erica Scott!!

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  9. KakiNovember 1, 2011 at 9:06 AM

    Dave, sorry I am bit late but your pastiche is even better the next day cold. ;-)
    This was a riot, you are so clever. I loved the no stirring because they didn't have spoons and missles? how naughty. LOL

    I am honored to be among the ranks of the spanks.

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  10. MichaelNovember 1, 2011 at 3:48 PM

    Brilliant, DW, absolutely brilliant. So well done on so many levels and just plain fantastic. I am still smiling and I read your pastiche ten minutes ago.

    Oh, and if you need a hand with these imps you've corralled I volunteer for hazardous duty...hazardous to imp bottoms.

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  11. Dave WolfeNovember 1, 2011 at 9:51 PM

    Hi, Kaki!

    Yep, Halloween candy is just as good the next morning!! Sometimes better!! I'm glad you got giggles from it! (Takes a bow-wow.)

    Thanks very much, Mike! Oh, and have no doubt you were included in the great preparatory call-up!!

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  12. SeasonNovember 2, 2011 at 6:36 AM

    "The Imps-- how they wiggled as heinies went cherry!
    Their cheeks began glowing, the Tops were all merry!"

    Classic! I can just hear you howling a happy tune to these words. :-)

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  13. WolfieNovember 2, 2011 at 8:26 AM

    Eek! Spanked for pranking, although I'm sure I had a wolfish grin on my face at the time. Thanks for including me Wolfie, I was howling with laughter while reading your poem.

    Ladyshewolf

    ReplyDelete
  14. sarah thorneNovember 2, 2011 at 12:38 PM

    So, just seeing this. I am certain I could have gotten away with this had I been alone! Yet group spankings by Wolfie? Who would wanna get away with mischief?

    Very creative! Thank you for a lovely and spirited poem!!

    Much love,
    Sarah

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  15. LeaNovember 2, 2011 at 10:09 PM

    This is fabulous! Lol! Bravo! I'm honored to be mentioned. I'm with sarah, it is easier to get away with things alone. ;-)

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  16. Dave WolfeNovember 3, 2011 at 12:32 AM

    Thank you, Sarah! Yes, therein lay the subtle design: you Imps KNEW that you couldn't get away with that mischief in such great numbers! Tricky!

    Hello again, Wolfie! I delight in causing toothy grins!!

    Hey, Season! The happy tune I'm humming now is that nifty Eye-talian Number Larken composed on your blog!

    (Anyone who hasn't seen that yet oughta click on these blue letters for the new and improved version of "THAT'S AMORE!" )

    ReplyDelete
  17. sarah thorneNovember 3, 2011 at 8:50 PM

    hey Dave, would you mind sending me an email to fiatlux28@yahoo.com? I would like to ask you something. :)

    sarah

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  18. LeaNovember 3, 2011 at 11:58 PM

    This is SO weird, last night I came on here and commented right below Sarah's post. Hmm... I'll repeat myself.

    Fabulous job, Wolfie! Bravo! SO funny and I'm honored to be mentioned. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Dave WolfeNovember 4, 2011 at 12:08 AM

    Thank you, Lea!! I don't know what occurred either-- an Imp was Gremlined?? Eep! To coin a phrase. Anyway, it was my delight, and thanks for repeating!

    Hi, Sarah! I have sent you an e-mail!

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  20. web-edNovember 9, 2011 at 10:31 PM

    Dave, this was bloody brilliant! I never knew you were a poetry parodist. Each and every one of the rascals you named deserved her spanking, too!

    I also caught what nowadays would probably be considered an obscure literary reference: "The moon and six pants" - The Moon and Sixpence, which was the title of a novel by W. Somerset Maugham.

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  21. Dave WolfeNovember 10, 2011 at 3:17 AM

    Thank you very much, Well-Read Web-Ed!! I'm delighted you enjoyed it!

    Yes, the line about the Six Pants was indeed an obscure literary reference. Very obscure. We'll name it "Jude."

    ReplyDelete
  22. AnonymousNovember 10, 2011 at 5:29 PM

    Wolfie you know I'm really a angel and would never tp your house, *grins* great poem! you always make me giggle :)

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