His Countenance Doth Shine

Say, that dude looks happy, eh?

If there's a particular reason, you'll see it at this week's update at "Discipline and Desire!"

And if you're not already a fan of the authors whose works so frequently appear there, you will likely be after the five intriguing snippets from the new stories for members, and the two chapters everybody gets to enjoy:

The first chapter of Laura Smith's "The Haunting of Elm Groves Library" and the opening of Robin Smith's "The Blue Light of Home."

Book Larnin'

This tome evidently has a strong emotional content.

Or else our fair maiden is reacting to the exorbitant cost of college texts.

Or maybe there's something else going on?

I couldn't imagine what, so let's slice on over to "Discipline and Desire" to examine the question.

And while there, take note of the five snippets of salacious stories for "D&D" members this week, and, by all means, after studying "The Canterbury Tales" over coffee (that would be your cup and Chaucer) relax with the free "D&D" book chapters for all to enjoy!  

I particularly like the sassy, sexy, somehow vulnerable lass in Dulcie Taylor's "The Last Conquest," and you can meet the Knights of Knee (OK, that's just WolfiePunnery) in Chula Stone's first chapter of "Your Smile Come Morning."

Now where did I leave my hickory stick?

Uniformity

And Lo!  Another school year is upon us!  And to celebrate, here is a "Discipline and Desire" WolfieToon from six years ago:

Speaking of  "Discipline and Desire",  and characters in uniform, this week's update features a new WolfieToon with a new adventure strip character:  

(Any resemblance to any other colorful adventure strip characters is strictly coincidental and parodic in nature.)  

There are five snappy snippets of the stories "D&D" members get this week to whet your appetite, and two entirely free "D&D" story chapters for everyone to enjoy that may involve even more wetness!  ("Can I get a wetness?!")  

Barbara tells you the first part of "Beth's Story," and Mandy Rogers details some of "The Appalachian Cure!" 

Enjoy, and be on time for class, or else-- YOU know!! 

Whodat??

I based this character on a famous person.

Spanko Sparx, of the Sparx Brothers!.

No, I'm kidding...

It's Horny Smurf.

And you'll see the reason for that lascivious leer at the new "Discipline and Desire" update!

There are also five free samples of this week's fare for D&D members, and two free chapters of the D&D books everybody gets to read and wiggle!  Jessica Wallace and Michelle Carlyle will show you how apt is the name "Discipline... and... Desire!!" 

You have been warned.

"How Hot Is It?"

It's so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer...

It's so hot squirrels are pouring Gatorade on their nuts...

And (Thank you, Mr. Carson!) it's so hot I saw two fire hydrants fighting over a dog!

And if you think THIS looks hot--

--you should see the other indicator in the new WolfieToon at this week's "Discipline and Desire" update!

The sizzling snippets show what members get this time, and I promise you'll be carried away by  the two free chapters from the "D&D" books:

Maren features a debate about spanking your wife in front of the class... oops, wait-- in class, there is a debate about wife spanking-- in the first chapter of "How To Live Without a Man," and Deborah Plum brings a credit fantasy to life in "Behavior Modification!"  Hmmm, late fees....

Dig it!! 

Imp-udent!

Does this girl look impudent?

Does it look like this Imp might get a dent?

You can see for yourself at this week's "Discipline and Desire" update!  By the way, ladies, this week's cartoon falls under the Equal Bun Clause.

Speaking of cheap thrills, do not miss the five scintillating snippets from the stories "D&D" members get this week, and the two free chapters for everyone to enjoy!  I personally promise you some grins and shivers from Michelle Carlyle's opening chapter of "Legacy," and some pulsating patty-cake from "The Baker's Man" by Belle, writing as Barrie Abalard!  


Belle and Michelle, they're swell!

(Darren McGavin Voice) Why, It's A Major Award!

Well, spank her butt and call her Pinky!  


Dave liked that "Discipline and Desire" Wolfietoon so much he's featuring it at his Cherry Red Report, and he and his colorful cast of characters have even given it this Cherry Award for "Excellence In Art!"

Now, I could be a wise guy (imagine such a thing) and say Dave needs to get out and see more art, but I'm very pleased, and will refrain from such drollery!


Thanks very much, Dave! 

Delighted!

There are a lot of businesses that use the corny cliche about "delighting our customers."  


This customer certainly looks delighted.  Damn near ecstatic.

You can see this happy shopper in the new WolfieToon at this week's "Discipline and Desire" update!


There are also five snappy snippets from some of my favorite "D&D" authors, and, for all to enjoy, two entire and entirely free chapters from "D&D" books:  an out-West trip to the woodshed (so to speak) for a gal in Judith McLaren's "Vengence Creek," and the intriguing first chapter of Robin Smith's "Hopler's Happy Toads!"  (Her husband said, "All right, young lady, that's it, I toad you and I toad you!"  No, no, no. that's just WolfieStuff-- Robin writes much better!)


Enjoy!

The Lost TV Spanking, or, Vincent Pats Pat!

I told this story over at MySpaz,  so if you already read it, you've just saved lots of time!


For anyone else:  On a TV game show in the 60's called "Everybody's Talking,"  Vincent Price gave Pat Carroll a short spanking for repeatedly cleaning his clock in the competition!

(That's what newspaper people used to call a "lead sentence,")  


Possibly my favorite Vincent Price movie is "The Abominable Dr. Phibes," with its dark humor and classy and creative storytelling,  Vince could ham it up, but he also put in some splendid performances, and was a compassionate, cultured,  and absolutely hilarious man!


For example,  after a very long taping of a string of "drop-ins" for a kids' show in Canada, he disappeared for a bit, then burst back in with cases of ice-cold beer for the entire crew, and sat around with them swapping stories!


He broke the tension on the "Batman" TV set by starting an enormous egg fight at the end of an "Egghead" scene!


And he apparently loved being on the talk shows, and popped up on a lot of the game shows, too, having a ball, but also really going after the win!

Probably most people will know Pat Carroll for her performance as Ursula the Sea Witch in the Disney "Little Mermaid," but of course, she's had a long and wonderful career/  You might catch her on Netflix or something as one of the Stepsisters in the Rogers and Hammerstein "Cinderella," the one from the  '60's, with Lesley Ann Warren in the title role.

So, the game show was called "Everybody's Talking," and its premise was that three contestants watched short film clips of people on the street describing something or someone, and the contestants tried to beat the running clock and name the topic.  The quicker you guessed it, the more points and dough you won.

So, one late morning or early afternoon circa Summer of '67,  they had a celebrity version, with Vincent Price, Pat Carroll, and some other dude I forgot playing for charities.

Pat was beating the dress socks off the two fellas.  In fact, I don't think they had even had the chance to get ONE answer!  

A new series of clips started, with people saying things like "there are times when nothing else will do the job!"  "You want to be firm but not too hard!"  and  "The closer to the meat the better!"  Pat rang her buzzer, they froze the film, and she declared, "They're talking about SPANKING!"

Everyone laughed, and the host-- Peter Marshall or Wink Martindale or somebody-- noting how well she was trumping her opponents, began, "Well, Pat, if you're right--"

Price interrupted with a menacing growl, "She'll GET a spanking!"

Well-- she was, and did!

They finished the run of clips, the superimposed word "SPANKING" flashed on the screen, the audience began howling, and they cut back to show a terrific stage spanking-- Price holding Carroll under one arm and smacking her bottom with the other!

Everyone loved it!  Even Pat!  And especially me!

I'm wondering if anyone else around here happened to have seen that, if I'm mis-remembering most of it, and if that particular tape was bulk-erased or if it might still show up on "The Game Show Channel" or somewhere? 

The Story's Pending...

A WolfieToon from "Discipline and Desire":

WHO Made the Dog MAD? (Woof! Woof! Woof-woof!)

(Isn't Kaki cute when she impatiently stamps her foot?  But she's right, this entry is overdue-- I'm running behind like a pimp!)


The puzzle in this pic is who pissed off the pooch?

Could it have anything to do with these pretty purple panties?

Mmmmmmm. COULD be!


The answer is at this week's "Discipline and Desire" update, along with five snippets of fun and frolic involving happy toads, bargain shopping, wife training, civilization, and knights in white Saxon (boy that's a long way to go for pun, eh?)  


Also for everyone's enjoyment, two free chapters from "Discipline and Desire" books:  the first form "Pandora's Box" by Jordan Grace (sex on the beach is not just a drink) and the second tale is one of Nattie Jones' "Spanking Stories To Warm Your Bottom... and Your Heart" featuring a pair of newlyweds and One Every Morning!


Have a ball!!

Larken's SuperToonMan, Illustrated by Wolfie

(Stirring music with lots of drums and trumpets and even a harp!)   

Faster than a speeding deadline!

More powerful than an ulterior motive!

Able to draw tall blondes with bottoms round!

Look! Look at that guy!

It's a nerd!

It's a brain!

It's SuperToonMan!!

Yes, it's SuperToonMan!  A strange visitor from Pulp Fiction, who came to Cyberland with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal Toons.  

SuperToonMan, who can change the course of mighty Imps, bend pencil lines with his bare hands, and, who, disguised as Dave Wolfe, mild mannered cartoonist for a great metropolitan blog, fights a never-ending battle for truth (as he sees it), justice (for Imps), and the Spanko-American way!

(The music and some cute bottoms swell!)

(Oh, and before you ask, yes, I look EXACTLY like that.  Insert falling on the floor rolling around laughing Smiley Face.)