WolfieToons by Dave Wolfe

WolfieToons by Dave Wolfe

Monday, December 13, 2010

Wolfie Explains That Famous Lois Lane Story! (Urk-- A Rerun?!)

Wow, just like the shows on the big TV networks:  five or six episodes, and I'm already doing a dang rerun!

But this is for Poppy and anyone else who didn't see it at MySpace, or "Spanking Scouts" -- if there's even any interest!  And for those of you who have seen it-- if there's even any interest!-- I'll toss in some new bits, starting with this wonderful collage by the painter known to us as The Spirit!

If you've seen that image around the web, and the letters "WTF?" popped up over your head, I can fill you in here!

First, to add to your enjoyment, a bit about the guys who came up with this!  Writer Otto Binder (rhymes with "cinder") not only had a bunch of science fiction novels out at the time, but he and his brothers had been wheels at Fawcett Comics, the producers of "Captain Marvel" and company.  When comic books began losing money in the mid 50's, Fawcett decided to quit, and as a bonus, could settle the on-and-off lawsuit from the DC company, who kept claiming Captain Marvel was a Superman rip-off. (He wasn't really, but that's another story!)  Both Binder and Fawcett artist Kurt Schaffenberger moved over and began working for DC, bringing some of their whacky Fawcett fun with them!

Ergo, this story, "Three Nights In The Fortress Of Solitude," from "Superman's Girlfriend, Lois Lane," number 14, cover dated January 1960.  (Quiz at the end of the post.)

Everybody wants to read about the wonders and alien pets and stuff Superman keeps in his hidden "Fortress of Solitude," so Superman flies ace reporter Lois up to do that story!  Within the first few panels, Lois "accidentally" exposes herself to deadly outer space rays leaking through a telescope Superman keeps around for plot advancement.

She now has to hide out in the Fortress for three days-- because stepping into sunlight before then will disintegrate her! I hate when that happens!

However-- scheming Lucy Ricardo, I mean, Lois Lane, has actually done this on purpose, to show Superman that his home in the frozen north would be a perfect sanctuary for a little wife!

So, her first night there, she "dons Kryptonian nightwear" (pretty conservative nightgown by SciFi standards, eh?!  I wonder if the Puritan Comics Code Authority at the time influenced that?!) and settles down on what turns out to be a "Kryptonian Floating Bed."  (Labeled so for observant visitors.)  Then something wonky happens with the ventilation:

And, Hot Diggity Dog Diggity, BOOM!

Well, Lois is sure nothing else will happen there-- but several more somethings do, to the point that she is delighted to leave the Fortress and its various dangers, suspicious souvenirs and weird alien fauna and flora at the end of the three days!  

At which point, with Lois wrapped protectively against the frigid Arctic air in his indestructible cape, SuperExpositionMan's thought balloons explain what has happened.  Sure, he may not be the world's greatest detective -- that's Batman!-- but he had suspected mischief!  So he used his Super Voyeur Vision--

And thus our hero, engineering all the other mishaps, escapes blackmail wedlock, making a happy ending for all the young readers who had been writing letters to the editor wanting to see Lois get a good, sound spanking for being a continual pest!  (They really did!!)

And, look at that, he's grinning at that rear-view spankin' just like the rest of us!

Notice, however, Superman's fine moral code (and the aforementioned Comics Code Authority) keeps those X-Rays tuned to the top of Lois's Kryptonian Nightwear, not all the way through to her red, red bottom!
 Now, if that had been Super-Wolfie--!!  Which reminds me of another one of Phil Overbarrel's Springrose birthday cartoons!  But that's another tail.


  1. A fun retrospective on this justly-famous spanking! I'm really beginning to think Binder must have been a spanko. I'm finding that more and more of DC's Superman Family spankings were written by Binder - and then there are a lot of uncredited Marvel Family spankings over at Fawcett, where Binder was the head writer. I've never read any of his novels. If there were any spankings there, that would clinch it.

  2. Thanks, Web-Ed, your'e the only one to ever comment on this; maybe the only one who ever read it. :-D

    Devlin O'Neill was just remarking on his blog about all the spanking references Robert Heinlein put in his books!